Monday, June 16, 2008

Is 1 the loneliest number?

I am alone tonight for the first time in a very long time. Being completely alone is a feeling that I always have to adjust to, like stepping into a hot bath. I grew up in a family of 6, and have always relished the feeling of having many people around me. Even now, I thoroughly enjoy having overnight guests and hosting parties.

My brother got married this weekend, and our farmhouse became the hub for almost every activity, aside from the wedding of course, including the bachelorette party, the bridal preparations, the after-party, and the after-picnic. I said hello to many, then said goodbye to many. Most people left yesterday, including a dear friend who is moving out of the area. The rest left today, including my husband who is working as a rock climbing photographer for 2 weeks. On top of all this, my sister moved out of our house and into an apartment with her boyfriend. I knew this would eventually happen, but didn't expect all these elements to happen at once.

Therefore, it goes without saying that the transition from "in good company" to "just me and my dog" was a bit abrupt. My fridge is full of wedding leftovers (beer and cake galore), and I have no one to share them with. I cannot look forward to my husband sleeping beside me. My friend, Fred, will not be coming over this week for our usual Thursday night music rehearsal (he is the one who moved). My sister won't be coming home from work at the restaurant late at night and making a pot of ramen noodles.

I am alone. But I am not lonely. I am surrounded by family and friends, have fun plans for the week, and will inevitably reap the benefits of being forced out of my comfort zone and doing things that my husband tends to do (like mow the lawn). Life goes on even though I have said so many goodbyes in the past two days. New eras begin as others end.

And as I fill my shopping cart with meals for 1, I look forward to uninterrupted hours all to myself...and to the next party.

Do you think 1 is the loneliest number?


Chloe said...

I am a pretty solitary person, as is my husband, and so we do spend a lot of "time alone together", which I know is not quite the same thing. I do enjoy being alone when he goes out of town and it's just me and the cats. My routine doesn't change all that much honestly, but there is definitely a different vibe to our place. The refrigerator ends up looking a lot different and I tend to stay up later. The only time I feel lonely when he's away is when I wake up, because for that first moment of wakefulness I forget that he's not there. I do also enjoy being able to do whatever I want whenever I want however I want without having to take anyone else into account for a few days. Of course it is always nice to have that reunion moment when he comes back. What do you do differently when you are by yourself?

Karl Staib - Your Work Happiness Matters said...

You are never alone when you have a good book, great jazz CD, or just a little Yoga.

Larissa said...

Hi Chloe - I'm the same way when Ryan goes away. For instance, I will stay up until 1 am on a weeknight watching a movie on my laptop in bed. I just wouldn't do that when Ryan's there - especially since my laptop is 12" wide. It's just better to watch a movie on it by yourself. My fridge is different as well, as it contains more random things I've been wanting to try or are easier to make for just 1. Ryan will be back this Saturday after 2 weeks, so I am getting more and more excited for that "reunion moment"!

Larissa said...

Well said, Karl!