I am alone tonight for the first time in a very long time. Being completely alone is a feeling that I always have to adjust to, like stepping into a hot bath. I grew up in a family of 6, and have always relished the feeling of having many people around me. Even now, I thoroughly enjoy having overnight guests and hosting parties.
My brother got married this weekend, and our farmhouse became the hub for almost every activity, aside from the wedding of course, including the bachelorette party, the bridal preparations, the after-party, and the after-picnic. I said hello to many, then said goodbye to many. Most people left yesterday, including a dear friend who is moving out of the area. The rest left today, including my husband who is working as a rock climbing photographer for 2 weeks. On top of all this, my sister moved out of our house and into an apartment with her boyfriend. I knew this would eventually happen, but didn't expect all these elements to happen at once.
Therefore, it goes without saying that the transition from "in good company" to "just me and my dog" was a bit abrupt. My fridge is full of wedding leftovers (beer and cake galore), and I have no one to share them with. I cannot look forward to my husband sleeping beside me. My friend, Fred, will not be coming over this week for our usual Thursday night music rehearsal (he is the one who moved). My sister won't be coming home from work at the restaurant late at night and making a pot of ramen noodles.
I am alone. But I am not lonely. I am surrounded by family and friends, have fun plans for the week, and will inevitably reap the benefits of being forced out of my comfort zone and doing things that my husband tends to do (like mow the lawn). Life goes on even though I have said so many goodbyes in the past two days. New eras begin as others end.
And as I fill my shopping cart with meals for 1, I look forward to uninterrupted hours all to myself...and to the next party.
Do you think 1 is the loneliest number?