I Want To Matter (The Anthropology of Living)

In the woods, just off the C&O Canal,

a derelict house stands like an old tree about to fall.

My friends enter and climb the steep and dark staircase;

I stay outside (too many fears in there).

Signs of an old life are found in a strip of wallpaper.

Pink roses on yellow with a white lattice,

once brilliant on a sturdy wall, sun shining on it

through the window pane - a lovely room for someone.

The wallpaper is brought down the stairs to me

and I look at it in the stark winter forest light.

For these brief moments, the mystery

of the inhabitants' lives mean something to us.

We form their ghosts in our minds, and I lay the wallpaper

back in the house with a nod of respect.

What remnants will remain of me?

Who will I matter to when my wallpaper peels off the walls?

I Want To Matter

In 200 years when none of this matters, I want it to matter

My young life in full swing, no kids and a rock band

I can hear a Divine voice in my creativity; I know it is good.

Am I wrong for not wanting these days to ever end?

I want everything I experience to count for something.

Like the ache in my heart when I watch

the birds at the kitchen window feeder.

Little robot heads looking side to side,

their daily business an important matter.

Or crying over finding my dog

after her second time ever running away, spooked by a firework

The comfort of my life broken for those twenty minutes of hunting for her,

such unadulterated relief in my tears when she returns,

which she licks excitedly from my face.

Like listening to an old friend from Austin

sing on a CD in West Virginia, the miles and time between us

spilling out onto the table in front of the stereo.

Everything I do is important, even the simplest of things.

This year, I will pay close attention to the messages and lessons in every experience, good or bad, big or small.

What are you thinking about differently in the New Year?

Happy Birthday, Blog!

It was exactly a year ago today that I started the Good Life Project with my post "New Beginnings." In it, I pondered what it means to have a good life. If you've been following along with me since then, or even more recently, you'll know that striving for a good life involves process, focus, patience, forgiveness, and perseverance. And it's a choice we all have the ability to make if we desire it.

A lot has happened in my life since April 17, 2007. I am sure the same goes for you, my noble reader. This morning, I awoke to the sound of springtime birds and a clear blue April sky. A soft morning glow filled my room as I peeked over my downy covers. "I have arrived," I thought, thinking on the steps I took to get where I am now - in this house, in this life.

Giving up our life in Austin and making the bold decision to move home to Mercersburg wasn't easy. Likewise, building a new life here has been an interesting process to observe and experience. As you saw in my last post, living in a small town does not necessarily mean that life is going to be as simple and free as I thought it would be. But frankly, it is up to me to create the life I want and that is what this blog has always been about. It is up to me to create that simple and free life, if that is what I want. Easier said than done, this goal is something I still employ patience (as much as I can) and perseverance to obtain. Sometimes, life just gets away from us and we often need a reminder (like my episode with the voice lessons last week) that we have stretched ourselves to the limit or have headed down the wrong path.

In the year ahead, I know this process will continue, and I plan on enjoying it. Looking back on a year is an interesting way to observe the steps and processes of my life's adventure. Looking ahead allows me to learn from that process and prepare to take new steps toward greener pastures. But really, folks, what is more important than right now? The Good Life is right here and right now. So let's raise a glass to the birthday blog!

Thank you all for your support, comments, concerns, and thoughts. I look forward to another good year with you!

Cheers!
Larissa

Update on Time and Priorities

Hello dear friends,

I have been feeling quite successful at focusing on my Life Priorities that I mentioned in a previous post. I have been focusing more on my music and creativity, which has been very rewarding. My sister and I have been working on our musical repertoire with a great guitarist friend, and I am in the process of taking a few voice students. Making time for creativity fills me with energy and fosters a sense of purpose in my life. I have also been busy with the Arts Council, as well as writing for Hagerstown Magazine. All of these creative endeavors give me joy and a sense of accomplishment. For example, all day Monday I visited with several artists in the area for a Hagerstown Magazine article. Ryan and I were assigned to the same article, so he took the photos while I interviewed the artists, all of various mediums and ages. We made some wonderful connections, and on top of that were able to share the experience together.

Of course, making room for certain priorities inevitably involves putting others on the back burner, and I am trying hard not to dwell on those or feel guilty. I have had less time to focus on my blog, but I am still committed to the Good Life Project and all my loyal readers, whomever and wherever you are.


Do give me a shout out, if you so desire, and let me know what you have been ruminating or prioritizing on!

Top 5 Good Life Priorities

In my post "Time on my Side, Part 2," my great friend Laura left a fantastic comment listing her priorities in life. Her time is spent mostly on these priorities and everything else falls into the "I'll do it if I can" category. I think this is a great way to think about time allocation. She suggested I make a list of my top 5 priorities and focus on them above all else. So here goes:

Larissa's Top 5 Good Life Priorities:
(In no particular order)

1. Personal Connections (with humans and animals)
   
2. Music, Art, and Creativity
   
3. Good health through wholesome food and exercise
   
4. Learning and Discovery
   
5. An uncrowded schedule and living space that encourage peace of mind

These are, of course, subject to change with my ideals and moods. But I think they create a good groundwork for my goal to reevaluate my relationship with time. This project has been ongoing and I continue to make advances; I think my list will be another great step in the process.

I encourage you to make your own list (even if it's just in your head), and as things come along in your schedule, evaluate whether or not that activity falls into your top 5 priorities.

Let me know how it goes!

Time On My Side, Part 2

When I made my resolution about reevaluating my relationship with time, and lowering my standards of how much I get done with my time, I was on vacation and had less on my to-do list. Now that I am several weeks into January, and have much more on my list, I have found this goal to be much more of a challenge than I had foreseen.

I think the big issue at hand is that I still “assign” myself too much. I am fighting my perfectionist urges (remember, I am a Virgo and first-born child) and trying to keep up with what “needs” to get done all at the same time. It’s a vicious cycle. And I often end up approaching certain tasks joylessly such as, “Oh god, I still need to send a baby gift to so-and-so, and I never seem to have time to sit down and knit that baby washcloth that I am making to give a meaningful gift and save money.” Do you ever have these thoughts? I mean, I seriously stress about this petty stuff!

I think this morning I am heading into my day with the urge to “pare down” my list to what I really feel will truly add value to my life and take me further toward my macro-goals.

I wish to let go of all the micro-management tasks that seem to pile up and send me into a frenzy of “I have so much to do,” which is not a pleasant feeling and often entirely untrue. My husband will often catch me walking through the house with furrowed brow, sighing while deep in thought about all the things I “have” to do. My stress often gets passed on to him, and that is not something I am proud of.

But can I just take things off my list without feeling guilty about not doing them? I know I have control over my thoughts and how I perceive things. But it’s often very difficult to harness those runaway, reeling thought patterns and focus on what is important – to focus on what I have accomplished, not what is left on my list.

Resolutions take time, so I will keep you posted on how I take on this challenge for the sake of bettering the quality of my life – and those around me.

Do you have any thoughts to share about how you perceive time? How do you pare down your list?

A New Year, A New Start

Dearest friends and family,
I am finally ready to sit back down to my blog after weeks of holiday fun. I have great feelings about 2008, and I am excited to share my thoughts and ideas with you over the coming year. I have truly appreciated your readership and comments during the past 8 months, and hope to continue hearing from you this year.

I will start my blog entries for 2008 in a simple manner. Without question, this time of year is defined by the resolutions we make, maintain, and discard. I have been reading many blogs lately offering advice about resolutions. Some of us don't make them, some of us do; it is a very subjective and personal decision, and no matter how big of a deal our society and media make them, resolutions can be the simplest of wishes. I won't offer advice about making or keeping them, I will simply share mine for this year. I have learned that focusing on one macro-goal, in lieu of a plethora of micro-goals, is the easiest way to keep the resolution alive over the months. So here it is:

To set lower expectations for what I do with my time, and be OK with what I choose to do with it. What I do and accomplish is enough.

I have been enjoying this fresh perspective as I settle into the new year. Focusing on this larger goal allows the little things to fall into place more naturally. This particular one works well for me because I am a bit of a perfectionist and often feel that I should be doing something else with my time. Enough, I say! And that is what it will be...enough. I will ask myself what I really want to do, not what I think I should do, or what would be the best or coolest thing. I will not apologize for what I choose to do with my time; what I choose to do is the right thing for me.

Do you have any goals for 2008 to share?

Happy New Year!