Turning 30: I'll Cry If I Want To

I lay on the lawn chair like a sack. My head was heavy from a happy-birthday cold and a few too many last-night-to-be-29 drinks the evening before. Was this really my 30th birthday? Shouldn't I have been feeling at the pinnacle of health and vibrancy on this day of days? Could the day have snuck up so quickly, and why couldn't it wait until I had time to shake this stupid cold?

The morning sun twinkled against the white plastic chair slats as I smashed my cheek against them, staring languidly down through them to the grass below. At least it was warm in the sun, and I didn't have to accomplish anything in particular today. I had grown accustomed to this feeling of listlessness over the past several days; I barely had the brain power to contemplate my passage into 30-dome.

I suppose the old and wise would tell me that this is exactly how life is going to be from now on. They would say, "Life is full of disappointments. Just accept that things aren't always going to turn out how you want." I tell you, no matter how many times I turn that adage over in my mind, it still remains unacceptable to me. There has got to be more to life than surrendering helplessly to every disappointment.

I never planned to be anywhere else than the lake for my 30th birthday weekend. And despite my cold, and the fact that several people who planned to come to my party had to back out, I (underneath the gloom) was utterly content to be there surrounded by my family. I had had more than a few moments of feeling sorry for myself during the week preceding the big day, and my family members, in their undying effervescence, cheered me greatly. After all, wasn't 30 when you stopped crying over people not coming to your birthday party?

The next day, at my party, my husband surprised me with a sparkling, retro, baby blue and cream reissue 1950s electric guitar. In the midst of my wallowing, I had almost forgot that there was going to be celebration - and presents - with my family and friends surrounding me. There was no longer any room, or time, to feel despondent. When I pulled the wrapper off that shiny guitar, I wept into my hands, completely taken by surprise. Everyone had stopped what they were doing when they saw the large, wrapped package emerge from the cottage. And now, as tears streamed down my cheeks and a big smile began to form on my face, they watched expectantly and then applauded as I held the guitar up exultantly for all to see. I gave my husband his well-deserved hug and stepped out of the gloom.

Perhaps this is exactly how life is going to be from now on (and always has been). Just when you think life has completely trashed the party, through the mess come the most beautiful moments in the shape of shiny electric guitars, elderflower liqueur, tears of surprise, those darling faces of your family around you, or a friend driving through the dark for 5 hours to see you in the last hours of your birthday. We must never take these things for granted. Luckily for us, life will never let us.

For your enjoyment, here is the series of photographs of me opening my guitar (taken by Ricky MacPherson):

Ryan gets his hug

My Danelectro

Ryan even made me a sweet card with my face superimposed!

Christmastide

Yesterday, the freezing rain in the forecast suddenly turned to snow outside our window. In Southern Pennsylvania, snow is often more of a blessing than a common occurrence, so we settled back to work thinking it wouldn't last. But it continued, and our first real snow of the season covered the trees that line our road. The lantern outside our back door wore a little elf's cap of snow, and our dog stepped tentatively out the back door sniffing the new white stuff.

A year ago, we had just moved into this house and were barely able to get unpacked, wrap presents, and, of course, throw our holiday party. Hosting is one of my favorite things, so that was top on the priority list. It acted as a nice housewarming as well. A year later, we are very settled here. It has been nice to get started earlier with the Christmas shopping, and the planning of our holiday fête, which we hosted last Saturday.

I remarked recently to my husband how often over the past year of living back home I have looked around me and thought blissfully, "Gosh, my life is so great." I think a major reason for this feeling is that so many of our visions have come to fruition. Living on the other side of the country was an adventure I would never give up, but it made us yearn for things, some of which we couldn't quite put our finger on. Being back home has shown us that many of those things were waiting for us right here in our own hometown. I believe Ryan and I make a good life for ourselves no matter where we live, but this place has allowed us to put many of the puzzle pieces together that were once a bit scattered.

We see our grandparents frequently - even my grandmother and relatives in upstate New York are in very close proximity compared to when we lived in Texas or Idaho. We see our parents and siblings as often as possible; two out of my three siblings live here in town now. They are part of the core of our social network. As are our friends, some who live in our town, but others who come from nearby cities and remind us of our past city lives.

Even my dream of having a band has been coming together in the past month. My sister and I have added two lead guitarists/mandolin/lap steel players, bass, and drums to our outfit, The Hello Strangers. This is something I'm really looking forward to in the coming year.

I love the Christmas season for many reasons: the cheer, the little gifts and treats to pass around, the special times with family and friends, and the magic of bigger things we cannot quite explain. I love the feeling of looking back at the past year and counting blessings, while also looking ahead to the next year of life and being given a fresh start. I am grateful everyday for the things that I have, and try not to take any of it for granted.

This Christmastide, may you look back in fond remembrance and look ahead to a year full of promises and surprises.

Happy Holidays!

***************************

Christmas sweaters bring Christmas cheer!
My sister and her beau spread the holiday spirit at our party this past Saturday:

Waking Up In a New Political Landscape

I have tried, in the past few months, to keep politics at a good distance from this blog. In a political race, it is easy to alienate people who may not be rooting for the same candidate you are. Particularly in the farming community in which I dwell, thrusting my Obama sign into the grass in front of my house seemed somehow bellicose. I had to put my more apologetic tendencies aside and remind myself that this was, indeed, a competition, and I had every right to root for my team.

This past week has been monumental for me, as I'm sure it has for the majority of Americans. Even those who did not vote for Obama are surely realizing the historical importance of this election. If they're lucky, they will have at least experienced a flutter in their hearts upon viewing people all over the country and the world dancing in the streets and waving American flags. To know that people in countries all over the world are actually celebrating one of our decisions is truly spectacular. Regardless of how swiftly the Obama administration is able to carry out its promises, our whole political landscape has changed over night. America is transitioning into a new brand of country.

I woke up Wednesday morning with hope and excitement in my heart, and those feelings remain with me now. I feel fortunate that I have not fallen victim to the paranoia and xenophobia that caused many people to say "NoBama, No Way." After all, what has my generation of Americans experienced thus far that we can be truly excited about? Two gulf wars? 9/11? Hurricane Katrina? I think not. This is the first sign of positive progress we have been witness to. I never got to see Neil Armstrong walk on the moon for the first time, or desegregation in schools. But I did get to witness the first black president elected into office, winning the popular and electoral votes, and humbling stepping onto the stage in Chicago to greet the world.

Certainly, this election does not prove that we are "color blind," or that we have demolished all racial barriers in this country in the matter of one day. I hope we don't begin to think so; there is still much work to be done. And neither will every election from this day forward go my way. But I have a renewed confidence in the power of grassroots movements, our rights as voters, and the constitution. As my friend Liz wrote very poignantly to me in an email this week:

"On this post-election day 1 (i.e. "the beginning"), I am making a
promise. Just as I typically, in the throes of a hangover, promise
never to drink again, I may be making a vow that I cannot keep. But I
am at least pledging to try…I will not lose faith in this country
again. I will not forget this day or this feeling, and I'm hoping
that you won't either. I will not let my guard down, and when this
country starts to mess up again, I will stay calm and hopeful, and
work to change it. And finally, although I can't promise not to
threaten it again, I won't actually move to Canada, no matter what."

May the energy from this week carry on over the next big steps in our country's progress, and into our everyday lives from this day forward.
And may we all learn great things from being part of our nation's great history.

Ode to a Grandmother

When there is laughter in the heart, what joys can remain stifled?

Few words can describe my Grandmother, Marion, as well as this photograph can. She's the life of the party, the bubbles in champagne, the mischievous twinkle in an eye. She loves penguins, Irish Cream, and peanut butter and sweet onion sandwiches. She putters around the kitchen, humming like a trumpet out of the corner of her mouth (Yes! We have no bananas!). She loves all things QVC. She has eleven grandchildren, ages 2 to 29. Christmas is still magical at her house. She sews, knits, quilts, bakes, and stays up all night reading just one more chapter. She has a million house coats! She cries when she laughs (so does my Mom), pushing her glasses up onto her forehead so she can wipe her eyes.

She defines the word whippersnapper. She's one of a kind!

What more can I say? This picture says it all!

Remember today who you love the most, and take them not for granted.

30th Year

I am writing this on my 29th birthday, heading straight on into my 30th year on earth. It is hard to ignore the swift passing of time when you are nearing 30. But it is, after all, just a number, so I will enjoy this day just as I do each day, noticing as many wonderful details as possible.

This morning I jogged with my dog along the back side of the Mercersburg Academy campus, my favorite place to run.

I passed by and said hello to my 1st grade teacher, who was walking along the road, enjoying the beautiful morning sunshine. I am still reminded in so many ways of my childhood, living in my hometown.

I continued on my run and watched Sadie chase a few little creatures, her tail spinning with delight.

Upon returning home, I was served a lovely breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and coffee, by my husband. I enjoyed every morsel.

Ryan's Mother called to wish me a happy birthday, then his Grandmother stopped by with a card and sang to me in my kitchen. I smiled the whole time.

Tonight is sushi and sake with friends and family.

I look forward to another great year, filled with all the great details of life. And I look forward to sharing it with you.

Cheers!

My sisters and I, having a chuckle.
Being goofy with family is one of my favorite things!

MCFA Mixer!

Dearest Readers,
I am still reeling from a recent event that I organized with my fellow council members of the Mercersburg Council for the Arts. I recently wrote about it on the MCFA blog. Please check it out! It affirms that the Arts are more and more important in this day and age!
All my best!

Larissa

Happy Birthday, Blog!

It was exactly a year ago today that I started the Good Life Project with my post "New Beginnings." In it, I pondered what it means to have a good life. If you've been following along with me since then, or even more recently, you'll know that striving for a good life involves process, focus, patience, forgiveness, and perseverance. And it's a choice we all have the ability to make if we desire it.

A lot has happened in my life since April 17, 2007. I am sure the same goes for you, my noble reader. This morning, I awoke to the sound of springtime birds and a clear blue April sky. A soft morning glow filled my room as I peeked over my downy covers. "I have arrived," I thought, thinking on the steps I took to get where I am now - in this house, in this life.

Giving up our life in Austin and making the bold decision to move home to Mercersburg wasn't easy. Likewise, building a new life here has been an interesting process to observe and experience. As you saw in my last post, living in a small town does not necessarily mean that life is going to be as simple and free as I thought it would be. But frankly, it is up to me to create the life I want and that is what this blog has always been about. It is up to me to create that simple and free life, if that is what I want. Easier said than done, this goal is something I still employ patience (as much as I can) and perseverance to obtain. Sometimes, life just gets away from us and we often need a reminder (like my episode with the voice lessons last week) that we have stretched ourselves to the limit or have headed down the wrong path.

In the year ahead, I know this process will continue, and I plan on enjoying it. Looking back on a year is an interesting way to observe the steps and processes of my life's adventure. Looking ahead allows me to learn from that process and prepare to take new steps toward greener pastures. But really, folks, what is more important than right now? The Good Life is right here and right now. So let's raise a glass to the birthday blog!

Thank you all for your support, comments, concerns, and thoughts. I look forward to another good year with you!

Cheers!
Larissa

Happy Holidays, One and All!

Hello to my dear friends and readers,

I will be taking a brief hiatus from my blog writing due to the constraints of the Holiday Season, my business, etc. I am presently working on an entry about liminal stages, since I feel I am coming out of one as of late. However, would you agree that the holidays are a bit liminal as well? This is the time of year when we push things on the to-do list to 2008, let bygones be bygones, and busy ourselves with other things for a while - getting ready for the rituals of the season, and the big transition into the New Year. It is a very, very special, almost surreal time of year, no doubt.

I will be back at the beginning of January with more anecdotes about life for us to ponder together. I wish you all the best of the season, whatever your traditions or beliefs. Enjoy the Winter Solstice, and the shortest day of the year! Don't forget to eat some unhealthy food, allow your hugs to last a bit longer than usual, and savor every last moment of 2007. After all, this is the only 2007 we'll ever have.

Peace, Cheers, and Merriment,
Larissa

(I love this photo of my sister in our kitchen, decorating Christmas cookies.)

A Time and Place for Unhealthy Foods

My family hails from upstate New York, specifically the rural areas of Bainbridge and Walton, East of Binghamton. This is a land where nut-brown wood paneling and maroon vinyl adorn the bowling alleys and bars where my family gathers over the holidays. It is often bitterly cold outside during this time, the sun slanting early over the hills and the snow dust swirling like a lace curtain over the winding roads. Thus the cozy, dark corners of my Grandmother’s house and the local bars beckon us to gather there and linger for hours. This is vacation, after all, so I am always primed for a respite from my tidy routine. Good timing, since glistening popcorn balls, ribbons of strudel, scrumptious cakes and pies, succulent bacon, buttery mashed potatoes, golden fries and spicy hot wings suddenly besiege me. My sensory organs are piqued, my stomach ready to be commiserated and cheered.

I try to allow myself these few days away from my normal standards, but I am inexorably facing feelings of guilt deep in my psyche all the while. Why? Because I know too well the potential havoc these foods can wreak on my anatomy, and the environment to a great extent. But does it ever strike you as unfair that some of the best tasting foods are the worst for you?

No, I say, I will not be a patsy to my country’s gross obsession with fat and calories. It obviously has done nothing in the way of halting the spread of obesity and greed. Therefore, when faced with a platter of fried chicken tenders and fries that someone has ordered at the bowling alley my family often haunts during the holidays, I indulge in the name of tradition and celebration. It wouldn’t be fair to deny myself the full package of this experience, to not allow the wonder of comfort food to work its charm! The smell of the wing sauce, the glass rim of the beer bottle on my lips, the bowling saddle shoes on my feet, the sight of my family gathered together – the whole throw-my-reticence-to-the-wind experience must be fulfilled and relished; or these artifacts and scraps of nostalgia that illuminate my present life will fall prey to the wolves of dereliction. The scaffolding of my past will begin to decay with neglect. Thus, I indulge with reflection and gratitude, taking only enough to keep the wolves at bay, and leaving room for new memories to grow.

So go ahead, throw caution to the wind! Put an extra scoop of whipped cream on your hot cocoa and let the memories in!

How do you indulge and reminisce?

(Photo: My mom and I enjoy some holiday libations this Thanksgiving)

Creature Comforts (Part 3): Paring down, Thankful Eating

This topic happens to fall on the week of our national Thanksgiving celebration. I write this from my Grandmother’s house in upstate New York, where my family has gathered over good food and drink to give thanks for all of life’s bounties. I was initially going to entitle this post, “Mindful Eating,” but upon realizing that Thanksgiving is but a day away, I will deliver my simple message via a short prose, so that I can get back to celebrating with my family, and so can you.

I love to eat. Food is undoubtedly one of my favorite things. I admit, however, that I don’t always “respect” everything I put in my mouth, most often because I am aware that the ingredients may not be all that wholesome for my body but at that moment I am too tired, too hungry, or too transfixed by the sweet, glorious crunchy sugar coating (for example) to care. What follows is usually a mindless devouring of the food in front of me, briefly satisfying as it goes down my throat. But in the end, I am left with an empty hole in my gut, as if the food I just held in my hands was only a mirage in a vast, empty desert. This is a habit I work hard to change, but I can't always expect perfection. Special occasions such as Thanksgiving, however, are great opportunities to put change into practice.

This Thanksgiving, as you sit down to this special meal with your family, take a moment to look at each delicious item on your plate. Imagine the time and energy that has gone into each bite. Think about the people you love who have prepared it, and if you took part in the preparations, give thanks – to God, to the universe, whatever your preference – for your ability to help. Be not just mindful of each bite, but thankful as well. Consider this your one chance to enjoy each bite, chewing slowly with focus and intent. Consider this likewise your one chance to observe the people who surround you, giving thanks for each of them as you enjoy this meal together. Do this today and everyday after.

After all, taking one day at a time, one bite at a time, and one celebration at a time, is the essence of paring down. It means choosing simplicity, but never accepting an empty hole in your gut – the great paradox of balance. So if you love your mother’s pumpkin pie that you get to eat but once or twice a year, don’t deny yourself that extra slice. Being thankful means relishing as well as slowing down. It means filling the void with simple gifts.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Larissa


How do you give thanks everyday?

Saying Goodbye to Texas, Part 2

We leave tomorrow for the great state of Pennsylvania! We are very excited, though I have been getting knots in my throat from time to time...very bittersweet. Here are some photos from our farewell party at the Broken Spoke this past Thursday for your viewing pleasure. It was a ton of fun and we thank everyone for coming out to celebrate with us! Alright folks, see you on the other side!

Max and Brechyn, on the way to the Broken Spoke

Brechyn and Larissa celebrate in each others' arms!

Brian and Ana

Karl (Yarrrrl)

We're two-steppin' fools


Howdy partner!

Ryan and Larissa dance one of their last dances at the Spoke

Everyone wave goodbye!

Hey Jesse Ray!

Ana and Brechyn snuggle

Things got a little wild toward the end

And a bit hokey!

After-party at the Continental Club Gallery!

Kari and Larissa get close

Larissa, Lauren, and Brechyn

And then it was off to Magnolia Cafe for some late-night eats!

Goodbye Austin!

Puttin' On the Ritz

Ryan and I celebrated our 1st wedding Anniversary yesterday. We were so excited to celebrate, both of us daunted by the rapid passing of time and rejoicing in all that we have done in our first year of marriage, such as starting a business. We also thought about our family and friends who gathered with us a year ago to witness our marriage in Pennsylvania. What a wonderful, albeit blustery, day it was. I have posted below a handful of photos from our anniversary celebrations, followed by a few reminiscent shots of our wedding day a year ago. We enjoyed our anniversary immensely, first getting muddy while hiking, swimming, and picnicking with friends, then getting gussied up and dining at the Mansion on Judge's Hill Restaurant here in Austin. Drinks and dinner were divine and we enjoyed the juxtaposition of the activities we partake in and enjoy together (getting very muddy, then allowing ourselves to be pampered). We hope you enjoy these photos as much as we have relished in the experience.

Wedding: June 10, 2006

Me and my "girls" at the rehearsal

Sadie, the flower girl

The handsome groom